nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy.

Odio los Domingos, oficialmente :) Me aburro a mil por hora (??????????) y no encontré nada mejor que hacer que empezar a bajar juegos aunque no pueda en este pc (?)
Lo peor, es que estoy enferma. Eso lo empeora D: Ya que no puedo levantarme ni ir a mi preciado PC donde tengo todo lo que me entretiene
Y vine a mi blog a descargarme pero me di cuenta que no tengo nada que decir (??)
Tuve una linda semana oh si :D Partiendo por el 6.7 que me saqué en la prueba de Química PCR y por las demás pruebas que supongo que me fue bien :B Y para que hablar de ayer :D Lindo día con señor Alfonso y Rebeca y weás

Lo único que las caga es hoy.
Y se me fue la no-inspiración

J.

Primera semana y ya estoy agotada. Mañana empiezo a salir taarrrrde D:.

Hoy fui al velorio del papá de un compañero :c y mañana me están obligando a ir al funeral. EN CLASES. no qiuero, no no no. no quiero perder clases. a ellos les gustará perder clases pero a mi no :c

ES GAAAY D: (U)


JR.-

Caca.

Mañana empiezo el colegio. Lo raro es que se me quitaron todas las ganas de entrar con la maldita espera.

Great.


JR.-

D: Mañana va a ser mi último fin de semana de vacaciones (si es que no se cambia la fecha denuevo -.-) y sadsa ya no se me ocurre que nada mas para hacer ._. Mañana voy a la junta del Fever con la Kim para salir de la casa un rato D: he estado todos los días aquí desde el terremoto DDD:

no tengo nada que aportar ._. solo que hoy me teñiré el pelo, me haré las uñas y sería XDDD

JR.-

4 Months...

SI CONCHETUMADRE SON 4 MESES DEL MEJOR DÍA DE MI VIDA. AÚN INDESCRIPTIBLE, ÍNCREIBLE...

A ESTA HORA... YA ESTABA EN LA FILA. HACE RATO (?) Y WEON ME MORÍA DE CALOR, DE SED, DE HAMBRE Y ESTABA CON LOS NERVIOS DE PUNTA. IBA A VER A MI BANDA FAVORITA TOCAR EN VIVO... Y YO IBA A ESTAR CERCA DE ELLOS. EN ESE MOMENTO NI ME IMPORTÓ QUE NO TUVE MEET AND GREET. Y AÚN NO ME IMPORTA, PORQUE LOS VI TOCAR TODAS LAS CANCIONES QUE ME ENCANTAN <3>

AÚN RECUERDO EL DÍA QUE LA CAMILA ME LLAMÓ Y YO NO LE CONTESTABA PORQUE ESTABA EN EDUCACIÓN FÍSICA, Y CUANDO ENCONTRÉ COMO LAS 50 LLAMADAS PERDIDAS LA LLAME POR COBRO REVERTIDO (?) Y ME LLAMÓ Y ME DIJO 'WEONA, ADIVINA' Y YO 'QUE WN QE' Y ME DIJO 'ADIVINA' Y YO 'PANIC VIENE A CHILE WEON' Y ME DIJO 'SI WEONA' Y ME PUSE A LLORAR Y TODOS MIS COMPAÑEROS ME DECIAN QUE TE PASA QUE TE PASA Y YO LLORABA COMO EUFORICA. DESPUÉS TODOS MIS COMPAÑEROS ME MOLESTARON PERO NO ME IMPORTA ELLOS NO TIENEN NI IDEA LO QUE ERA PARA MÍ ESA NOTICIA. LLEGUÉ A MI CASA Y LO COMPROBÉ, LLAME A TODAS MIS AMIGAS Y LES CONTÉ. NINGUNA PODÍA CREERLO. ES QUE ENSERIO, ERA TAN INCREÍBLE EN ESOS MOMENTOS ESA NOTICIA, DESPUÉS DE LA SEPARACIÓN Y TODO... PENSÉ QUE NUNCA LOS IBA A PODER VER EN VIVO. PERO DIOS ESCUCHÓ MIS ORACIONES LO SÉ.

Y DOY GRACIAS A DIOS POR HABER IDO. Y POR HABER COMPARTIDO ESE HERMOSO DÍA CON MIS AMIGAS <3>

CUATRO MESES YA. Y ESTOY PA' LA CAGÁ. YA ME IMAGINO CUANDO SEA UN AÑO, VOY A ESTAR DESTROZADA. PERO AÚN CON LA ESPERANZA DE QUE VUELVAN. Y SÉ QUE LO VAN A HACER. ME DA LO MISMO CUANTO TIEMPO SEA, NO IMPORTA, PERO SI VUELVEN, LOS IRÉ A VER DENUEVO Y GASTARE TODO EL DINERO QUE SEA NECESARIO <3>PANIC! AT THE DISCO, SON MI VIDA. NO SABEN LO FELIZ QUE ME HAN HECHO.

earthquake.-

as you may know, there was an earthquake in my country last week.

for me, it wasn't that bad. i'm fine, and so is my family. but there are some people who lost everything; their houses, their family members, or even their lives.

it's kinda hard to listen what other people are going through. but... thank god i'm alive. and thank god that all of my friends are ok.

the day of the earthquake i was sleeping, because i was kinda tired, so i fell sleep like 9 p.m -lol- and then... my mom starts screaming. i woke up as fast as i could while my mom was running to the garden. i hugged my mom because she was kinda paranoic, she was crying and screaming to my grandparents who were inside of the other house, and they didn't answered. we tried to get in from the back of the house but we couldn't. we were still like shaking. my dog was running on the backyard and all i wanted to do was catch him. he was so desesperated :C i almost cried. and then, i didn't saw where he was. when the earthquake ended, my mom went to the front door of my grandparent's house and took them outside. and i started to search for my dear dog. i couldn't find him. i went to my house, because the door was open, i couldn't find any light, so i started to call him, but he wasn't anywhere. so, i went to a kinda 'room' that we have on the backyard. i opened the door, and there he was. he was under a lot of boxes and bags that fell on him :c i cried, because i love my dog more than anything. he was shaking. i hugged him and took him where my other dog was. both shaking, both scared, both felling insecure.

my brother and her girlfriend arrived to my house like 5 minutes later (he lives like so far away from me, i don't know how he did it). he helped me to get inside my house to see how it was. my room was kinda ok, all my cd's were on the floor, my camera too, my guitars and my pictures. i almost cried when i saw my closet, the only picture who didn't fell on the floor was one that i have with an EX-FRIEND. that was kinda creepy.

anyways, i went to my mom's room. and OH MY GOD. she has like this huge tv, and it was on the floor, with her cd's all broken, and well, her clothes and the lamps... everything was on the floor. my brother found my cellphone under my bed. i took a coat, and socks and i went to the garden with my family.

my dad came too, it was kinda weird, but he helped a lot. i kinda like him a little bit now.

my whole family were worried about my cousins. they weren't with us. they were on the beach so... we were scared for them.

fortunately, we could talk to them. and they were ok. my mom told them that they had to come back, and they did.

that day i couldn't sleep, we were listening to the radio, and it was awful to hear what happened in other cities.

i tried to call my friends later, and i couldn't.

next day i talked to clau, caro, diego, rocio and gonzalo. but i couldn't talk to cami or kim.

the good thing was that i had water and food to survive D: but i knew that there were some other people who didn't had that. so i was kinda sad.

when i saw the news, and i saw all the places who had a tsunami, i cried. it hurts to see your country almost destroyed. and with so many people suffering.

but seriously, i'm worried about myself. because i enjoyed the eartquake.

JR.-

my cousin's bedroom.

I thought I had found the perfect friend, but it only took about a week for that to end. I thought there was hope left in my life, but as it turns out, it was only added strife. I thought for once I had done something right, but I quickly corrected that oversight. I thought I wasn’t useless or a bore, but I was all that and even more. I thought there was a purpose to my days, but that was only a very short phase. I thought you weren’t like all the rest, but like those before, you failed the test. I thought you would stay with me, at least for a bit, but you decided it was better just to quit. I thought life was worth living for a moment in time, but the life I wanted could never be mine. I thought the hunger inside had been fed, but now I know, I was just being misled. And now I think I’ve found another perfect friend, how long before my heart is broken again?

Fic para Fafy :D

The Hardest Thing

Situación: Eres la prometida de Patrick Stump, un famoso productor de bandas. Son muy felices. Hace 7 meses que viven juntos en una casa en Illinois, en la ciudad natal de Patrick.

Es un día normal, te despiertas a su lado, él ya estaba despierto, mirándote con una gran sonrisa de oreja a oreja mientras acariciaba tu cabello.

“Hola” Le dices mientras te sobas los ojos para parecer algo más despierta. Él se acerca lentamente a ti y te da un beso, de esos que te gustarían que duraran por siempre.

Suena el teléfono, Patrick se levanta rápidamente. El día anterior te había advertido que lo llamarían por algo de trabajo y que estaría ocupado todo el día. Tú lo entendías, eras una buena novia.

Aprovechas esos minutos de que él habla por teléfono para ir al baño a lavarte la cara y peinarte un poco. Cuando terminas, sales y te recuestas en la cama para ver un poco de televisión. Sientes pasos apurados desde el piso inferior, Patrick viene corriendo hacia ti como un niño pequeño. Salta a la cama y te abraza.

“Me llamaron del trabajo. Trabajaré con una banda muy famosa. Y la paga será genial.” Te dice con cara de emocionado “Tendremos dinero para financiar nuestra boda” Le sonríes, lo besas y se quedan abrazados un largo rato. “El bajista de la banda vendrá hoy para conocerme y todo eso… Está bien?” Dice poniendo una cara inocente “Claro! Viene a cenar?” Patrick asiente. Tu piensas que es la ocasión perfecta para preparar el plato favorito de Patrick, te pondrías la ropa que tenías guardada para alguna ocasión especial. Querías que Patrick se quedara con ese trabajo, querías ayudarlo a impresionar al invitado.


-x-x-x-

Suena el timbre, corres apurada a abrir. Cuando lo haces, te encuentras con un tipo de baja altura, algo apuesto y muy elegante. “Hola. Soy Pete Wentz. Un gusto en conocerla” Lo saludas cordialmente y le das la mano. “Pasa, Patrick está en el baño, no demorará” Le apuntas que se siente en el sillón, te obedece y se queda ahí jugando con sus dedos y moviendo las piernas inquieto. Vas corriendo al segundo piso a apurar a Patrick. Lo ves poniéndose una camisa y corbata, lo ayudas y lo golpeas en el trasero para que baje. Patrick ríe y te dice que él y Pete estarán en su oficina un rato conversando sobre negocios.

-x-x-x-

Al día siguiente despiertas con una sonrisa en tu cara, la cena había sido un éxito y Patrick había conseguido el trabajo. Cuando miras a tu lado, pensando que te encontrarías con Patrick, encuentras un puesto vacío. Te levantas extrañada, hay una nota en el velador. “No quise despertarte, fui a juntarme con Pete. Llego mañana”

En el fondo te entristeces, pero no querías convertirte en una novia celosa y controladora, así que no tenías mas remedio que esperar a Patrick y alentarlo con lo del trabajo nuevo.

Ves el calendario y notas que falta una semana exactamente para tu boda, y aún no tenías nada preparado. Llamas a tu mejor amiga y quedan de juntarse para que te ayudara a comprar el vestido.

-x-x-x-

Cuando llegan al lugar, empiezas a probarte todo tipo de vestido de todos los colores, hasta que te detienes al quedar sorprendida con la belleza de uno.

Era un strapless blanco, con unas flores celestes abajo y el velo que lo acompañaba era p-e-r-f-e-c-t-o.

Casi lloras de la emoción, cierras los ojos un momento y te imaginas caminando hacia el altar con Patrick esperándote. Te sonríes a ti misma y compras el vestido sin chistar.

Llegas a casa y cuelgas el vestido, llamas a tus padres para que confirmen la iglesia, confirmas al ministro y al banquete de comida y bebidas.

Todo estaba listo, te tiras en tu cama, cierras los ojos y te imaginas lo perfecto que sería ese día. El más importante de tu vida.

-x-x-x-

La semana pasó rápido, casi ni viste a Patrick por sus asuntos de trabajo. Pero lo verías ese día, exactamente a las seis de la tarde empezaría la boda.

Eran ya las una de la tarde, tu madre te ayudaba con el vestido y el maquillaje, tu hermana te había traído comida para que tuvieras fuerzas y no te desmayaras. Nadie te podía quitar la inmensa sonrisa que tenías en la cara.

La hora pasaba lento, jugabas con tus dedos por el nerviosismo, memorizas tus votos otra vez, te mueves por toda la habitación y te mantienes positiva.

A las seis exactamente, tu mamá te avisa que ya es hora de salir, te aguantas un grito y caminas decidida.

Llegas a la puerta de la iglesia y dos hombres te abren la puerta, tu papá te pasa el ramo de flores y ambos caminan hacia el altar, empieza la marcha nupcial y Patrick se gira hacia ti y te dirige una linda sonrisa.

No podías dejar de temblar, estabas a punto de romperte a llorar, pero no lo haces, levantas la cabeza y caminas decidida al altar.

Tu padre te deja adelante, no sin antes darte un pequeño beso en la mejilla. Te diriges hacia Patrick, ambos se miran y el te susurra “Buenos días, preciosa”, lo miras extrañado y le dices “Son las seis de la tarde” él responde “Lo sé, es solo que hoy no te había saludado” sonríes, se toman las manos y la ceremonia comienza

-x-x-x-

… “Patrick Stump, aceptas a Francisca Lavanderos como tu legítima esposa para amarla y cuidarla en la salud y en la enfermedad hasta que la muerte los separe?” Patrick te mira, vacila un momento y devuelve la mirada al ministro “Acepto”

“Francisca Lavanderos, aceptas a Patrick Stump como tu legítimo esposo para amarlo y cuidarlo en la salud y en la enfermedad hasta que la muerte los separe?” Decidida respondes “Acepto”

“Y ahora, por el poder que me ha conferido Dios, los declaro marido y mujer” Se detiene un momento y señala a Patrick “Puede besar a la novia”

Patrick se gira hacia ti, te levanta el velo y te da un tierno beso en los labios, no te resistes y sueltas un par de lágrimas, Patrick te las limpia y te toma la mano para salir del recinto.

Caminan los dos por el pasillo con el aplauso de la gente, no dejas de mirarlo, ni de sonreír.

-x-x-x-

Eran ya casi las nueve de la noche cuando llegan a la fiesta, la gente los recibe con un cálido aplauso.

Se sientan en una mesa exclusiva y escuchan el discurso del padrino y de la madrina, tenías ganas de llorar, pero te resistes.

De pronto, se sube al escenario el novio de una de tus amigas con el resto de su banda.

“Esto, va para los recién casados”

El baterista choca sus baquetas cuatro veces y empieza una canción que a ti te sonaba muy familiar.

When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky, all was golden when the day met the night…

Patrick te toma la mano y te lleva al centro de la pista, comienzan un baile lento y romántico, no se dejan de mirar a los ojos.

When the sun found the moon, she was drinking tea in a garden, under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer…

Otra gente también se une a su baile, pero para ti, solo estaban tú y Patrick.

-x-x-x-

Llegan a casa casi a las seis de la mañana, ambos estaban cansados, así que decidieron llegar a dormir.

Cuando ya era de día, abres los ojos y te encuentras con los ojos de Patrick mientras que te acariciaba el cabello con sus manos. “Buenos días señora Stump” te dice con una sonrisa de oreja a oreja. “Buenos días señor Lavanderos” Ríes y lo besas.

“Debo ir a bañarme, no tardo” Patrick se para fugazmente y se dirige al baño. Te acomodas de nuevo en la cama y tratas de conciliar el sueño nuevamente, pero el celular de Patrick te interrumpe. “Patrick tu celular está sonando” Gritas. “Contesta” Te responde él desde el baño.

Te acercas al velador de Patrick y ves el celular, no era una llamada, era un mensaje de texto. Lo lees

“Patrick, soy yo, Cam, la amiga de Pete. Solo quería decirte que lo pasé MUY bien el otro día, espero que se vuelva a repetir, solo que ojala ahora recuerdes traer protección. xoxo”

Quedas atónita, sientes que tu corazón se detiene, no sabes qué pensar. Lo primero que haces es tirar el celular de Patrick a la cama, coges un abrigo, tomas las llaves y te marchas.

Lloras desconsolada, acababas de salir de tu casa, cruzas la calle y sientes que alguien te llama por tu nombre. Te giras y ves a Patrick corriendo tras tuyo. Aceleras el paso, no quieres que te alcance, cruzas muchas calles y te detienes al sentir el sonido de un freno.

Te giras, y ves lo único que hubieras deseado no ver. Corres, y te detienes frente al auto. Patrick había sido atropellado en su intento de alcanzarte.

Llamas a una ambulancia, su corazón aún late. Te abrazas a él, no quieres soltarlo. En pocos minutos llega la ambulancia, los paramédicos tratan de llevárselo pero no lo sueltas. Los paramédicos te convencen de que si no lo sueltas morirá, así que cedes. Te subes a la ambulancia con él y no sueltas su mano.

Llegan al hospital, corren con la camilla, escuchas gritos de los paramédicos por todas partes, hasta que te detienen en una puerta. Supones que no puedes entrar, así que te sientas impaciente. Llamas a todos los amigos de Patrick y a tu mejor amiga para que te acompañaran en el hospital.

No paras de llorar, llega tu mejor amiga y te abraza. Se mantienen abrazadas por un largo tiempo. Ella no dice nada, solo te acaricia la espalda y trata de calmarte.

-x-x-x-

Sientes que pasan horas, no sabes lo que está pasando adentro, cada vez te desesperas más, tu estómago se retuerce y solo quieres morir.

De pronto, un doctor sale y te mira.

“Señora Stump… Debo informarle algo”

No quieres escuchar, te haces a un lado y pasas a la sala. Ves a Patrick con respiradores en la nariz y con vendas en la cabeza. Te sientas a su lado y le acaricias la mano.

“Patrick… Soy yo…”

Patrick abre los ojos y te mira sorprendido. Te emocionas y vuelves a llorar. Patrick cambia su expresión a una expresión extrañada.

“Señora…” Se te acerca el doctor “Debemos hablar”

Asistes y lo sigues. “Señora… Lamento esto, pero… Temo que Patrick ha perdido gran parte de su memoria. Aún no sabemos la cantidad exacta, pero si sabemos que es mucha. Lo lamento, pero creo que él no la va a recordar”

Quedas petrificada. “… Me está diciendo que no va a recordar que soy su novia hace mas de dos años?” El doctor asiste.

… Lo único que puedes hacer es marcharte y hacer como que nada hubiera pasado.

Te tomará años, pero sabes que es lo mejor por la salud mental de Patrick, y por la tuya…




I will not kiss you, 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you…

story from a woman.

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the
remaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself, "It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.

Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"
The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear."

Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to. "It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly.

"No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me. I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached
for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked
again, just in case if you have enough money?" "Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.
There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to
make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me." "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose." "You know, my mummy loves white rose."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. I
finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him...

Stupid Love Story

There was a girl who didn’t believe in love, she never did, and she didn’t want to.

Until one day, she saw him. A young boy with long hair, not that cute, but there was something in him that made her crazy about.

Since that day, she didn’t stop thinking about him. And as long she liked him more, she cared less the fact that he didn’t knew that she existed.

She never found the right time to introduce herself, he never saw her. As long she tried, she never could.

The pictures of him were all around her bedroom. That made her happy, even though she was stopping believing that she was going to meet him someday.

… That’s the problem of being in love of a famous person.

Her friends called her crazy, but she didn’t think that way. Those feelings were special for her, it wasn’t just a ‘celebrity crush’, it was more than that. And she didn’t care about what people thought.

One day, her best friend told her that she had a surprise for her, she didn’t ask, and she followed her.

When her best friend stopped in front of a door, she told her to close her eyes. She didn’t doubt, and obviously she did it. Her best friend took her hand and took her inside the place.

“Open your eyes”

The big surprise was that they were inside of a room where it was her idol.

She almost passed out, but she didn’t. She didn’t believe that she was there, in front of him. She didn’t know how that could happen. She didn’t cared.

She smiled, and he smiled. She didn’t said a word. She was just watching his eyes, in silence.

Unfortunately, the security guard came into the room, announcing that they had to go.

She almost cried. She hugged him as strongest as she could, she didn’t wanted to let him go, but she had to do it.

She wave goodbye, and she left with a huge smile on her face.

Her life was complete.




Don’t stop believing.

Just another anormal day of summer.-

Friends forever should stay with you whatever the situation is.

I feel lonely. That's the situation.

I haven't seeing my best friend since a long time ago.
My others friends don't support me. And make me feel worse.
My heart hurts everytime I think about it.
And I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid to stay alone forever.
And yeah, that's sounds kinda of stupid. I don't care. That's how I feel.

One of my best friends, Gonzalo, is going away. We don't talk anymore. And when we do, we ended arguing. It's sucks.

And other of my best friends, Claudia, is like... obsessed with some guy we met in school like 5 months ago. She only talks to him. He knows all her life... and yeah, that bothers me. And Rocío told me that I was jealous. I AM. SO WHAT. SHE'S ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE KIDS. I'm afraid to lose her. It's the same thing that happens with Rocío. She's on a relationship right now. And I'm afraid that all of that stuffs gets her away from me :C

I feel that my friendship with Lina, Caami and Irina is about to end. I mean, I love those girls. But yeah, we don't talk anymore. And it's hard to keep a friendship by internet. And I think that they don't love me as I do :C that I care more about them than they about me.

And well... with Fafy I think our friendship is still there. Even though if we sometimes fight or argue about stupid things. I love her. She give me some good advices. And I think she's always there. But... yeah, she doesn't love me as I love her.

I think I have to change my mind. When I talk to them it's like if they don't know anybody else. But yeah, they have a lot of other friends. I'm not the only one.

I have to stop suffer about that.

And thanks to Mai. She has helped me A LOT. She's always so nice C: and she have wise advices. And she's also a great friend C: She knows that I'm gonna be always for her. Because the both of us has lived like the same things. So, thanks Mai. Thanks for being like that :D

It bothers me that people who I thought they were my real friends think that you're weird. That you're stupid. And that you've changed even if you haven't.

According to them, I've changed just because I don't listen the music I used to. I mean... THAT MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE IN ME? I don't think so.

As Mai just said 'you just have to ask for help'. But when I do... nobody helps me.

How do you think I feel?

It's hard for me not being supported. Though I understand my friends. They have their own lifes. I'm not like 'the center of their lifes'. I've never thought that. But I just wanna feel that my friends are gonna support me when I need it. It's that asking for too much?


PS: I give thanks to God for having this blog. It's the only place I can say whatever I want.

I love my friends still...

J.-