Just another anormal day of summer.-

Friends forever should stay with you whatever the situation is.

I feel lonely. That's the situation.

I haven't seeing my best friend since a long time ago.
My others friends don't support me. And make me feel worse.
My heart hurts everytime I think about it.
And I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid to stay alone forever.
And yeah, that's sounds kinda of stupid. I don't care. That's how I feel.

One of my best friends, Gonzalo, is going away. We don't talk anymore. And when we do, we ended arguing. It's sucks.

And other of my best friends, Claudia, is like... obsessed with some guy we met in school like 5 months ago. She only talks to him. He knows all her life... and yeah, that bothers me. And Rocío told me that I was jealous. I AM. SO WHAT. SHE'S ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE KIDS. I'm afraid to lose her. It's the same thing that happens with Rocío. She's on a relationship right now. And I'm afraid that all of that stuffs gets her away from me :C

I feel that my friendship with Lina, Caami and Irina is about to end. I mean, I love those girls. But yeah, we don't talk anymore. And it's hard to keep a friendship by internet. And I think that they don't love me as I do :C that I care more about them than they about me.

And well... with Fafy I think our friendship is still there. Even though if we sometimes fight or argue about stupid things. I love her. She give me some good advices. And I think she's always there. But... yeah, she doesn't love me as I love her.

I think I have to change my mind. When I talk to them it's like if they don't know anybody else. But yeah, they have a lot of other friends. I'm not the only one.

I have to stop suffer about that.

And thanks to Mai. She has helped me A LOT. She's always so nice C: and she have wise advices. And she's also a great friend C: She knows that I'm gonna be always for her. Because the both of us has lived like the same things. So, thanks Mai. Thanks for being like that :D

It bothers me that people who I thought they were my real friends think that you're weird. That you're stupid. And that you've changed even if you haven't.

According to them, I've changed just because I don't listen the music I used to. I mean... THAT MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE IN ME? I don't think so.

As Mai just said 'you just have to ask for help'. But when I do... nobody helps me.

How do you think I feel?

It's hard for me not being supported. Though I understand my friends. They have their own lifes. I'm not like 'the center of their lifes'. I've never thought that. But I just wanna feel that my friends are gonna support me when I need it. It's that asking for too much?


PS: I give thanks to God for having this blog. It's the only place I can say whatever I want.

I love my friends still...

J.-